Life will bring you to the crossroads of facing childhood fears and failure. “Just keep living,” as my late Grandmother would say. We can not be all that God has called us to be and not face our fears. We are the beacons of Hope and Light that God wants to reflect on this side of heaven. God always takes what the world deems as hopeless, worthless, and impossible and makes much of it. The bible describes it in Isaiah 61:3, and he will bestow upon you beauty for ashes, oil of joy for mourning.

You are never too late for the hands of God, and you are never forgotten to Him. His love is always chasing you down and ready and willing to overtake you. He wants to see you face your giants, your fears, and failure because it is in your weakness that He is made strong, and when He is made strong, it is always for your Good and His Glory.

Here is a little story of how God took my Childhood fears and failure and turned them into The Sweet Story; She who would become Me…Enjoy!

Never in a million years would I have ever imagined Saturday; May 14, 2016, could have ever been possible. So, when Dr. Cesar Maldonado, HCC, Houston Community College Chancellor, asked, “if you are a 1st generation graduate in your family standup?” I stood tall! When he asked, “if you are over 40, standup?” I stood more elevated, and when he asked, “if you are a mother or grandparent, stand up?” By then, I was standing on cloud nine. Why? Because in my mind, not only was I standing up for the Woman I had become. The 1st Chaney to graduate college, I had turned 49 the day before, and I had raised two beautiful, God-fearing, productive adults, one blessing me with a grandson. I was also standing up for that little girl in me that became her, she that would become me. That little girl held back a grade because she could not see. I was also standing up for that little girl who suffered from disruptions in the production of speech sounds, also called Disfluencies, known as the disorder of stuttering. 

I was also standing up for that little girl who was always mistaken for being a little boy; my hair was short, and I could only wear a little afro. “Jerry! I didn’t know you had a little boy and a little girl?” People would say to my mom when they met my sister and me. I would try and say, “I’m Not a Boy!!! I’m a Girl!” but by the time I could formulate the words and stutter them out… They had moved on.

Over time, mom got my ears pierced to help with the confusion of “she being me”. I struggled through elementary school; Nothing ever made sense to me, and everything was foggy and unclear. It was not until an African American teacher by the name of Ms. Clark at an all-white elementary school took an interest in me and my lack of understanding things in her classroom. “Chaney! What’s wrong, baby?! You should be able to get this, come and sit here!” as she would move me around the classroom from desk to desk. 

Most of the kids in the class would say, “I don’t want that stupid girl sitting next to me, Ms. Clark!” But not little Scotty; He raised his hand and said, “Ms. Clark, she can sit by me!” I can still remember little Scotty…. his skin like porcelain, honey-blond hair, with that Hay Hay we’re the Monkey’s haircut. Scotty was the shortest kid in the classroom, and he loved to color a lot. Scotty always shared his crayons with me, as long as I did not break one or color too hard with the crayon tips. Scotty would explain things to me as best as his five-year-old mind could. Still, not even that could help with my struggle. At the parent-teacher meeting, Ms. Clark told my mom to see an eye doctor; She thinks I may have trouble seeing in her class. But by then, it was too late. All grades were in, and it was recommended I beheld back a grade; basically, I had failed.

Eventually, Mom took me to the eye doctor, and MAN!!!! My whole world was made clear that day. I still remember those cute little clear jellybean pink speckled eyeglasses I got to pick out. I still remember how I felt walking outside and finally seeing a whole new world. I felt like Dorothy when she landed in Oz. Everything was so vivid and bright, everything was crystal clear, and at the age of 5, I felt like I had superpowers, like I could see things no one else in the world could see. Because for the first time in my five-year-old little life, my vision was not foggy or unclear.

I could finally see. Now, some might say: “why is she making such a big deal about graduating Community College?” “It’s just an associate degree.” But for “She, that would become Me,” it is so much more than that. For she who would become me, it was not about the destination of graduating and sitting through 2,600 names being called across the stage that day, waiting to hear, “Graduates, you may now turn your tassels.” It was about the obstacles that I had to pray my way through and the many battles that I thought I had to fight alone. But God would always show up, part the red sea, and deliver me safely on dry land that got me to the day of graduating college. 

The journey that would mold me pruned me and grew me up to become a Women of Faith. A journey meant for my good, that kept me safe under the shadow of the almighty wing. Confirming my faith and strengthening my resolve to stand there, steadfast and unmovable, when other students had left. No matter the cost or how long the wait, to remain standing there to hear the words “Graduates! You may now turn your tassels! I needed to hear that, and not only did I needed to hear that, but I had earned the right to hear it spoken over my life. Being blessed beyond measure to know that the man I married stayed to watch me hear those words and witness me turning the tassel for “She who would become me.” Every student that stayed, I am sure, had a story of victory and triumph over defeat such as mine. You could tell by the look in their eyes, for like me, they too needed to hear those words as well. 

Words we wanted to hear for the child within us who endured the journey of childhood fear and failures to becoming college graduate that day. Throughout this chapter of my life, I often find myself closing my eyes, searching for she who would become me. The little girl, constantly mistaken for a little boy. The little girl with the cute little afro and pierced ears that always stuttered profusely but bravely managed to proclaim, “I’m not a boy! I’m a girl!”. That little girl struggled to learn because her vision was foggy and unclear. Yes, I go back in my mind and search for her a lot lately. 

Because I want to give her a big, long hug and let her know she’s going to be alright. She is going to grow up, and we are going to be okay. That all of her broken pieces will one day stick back together and that the sweetest story she will ever get to live out will be the one that God has written for her. She, who would one day become Me. 

No journey is ever traveled alone or waisted. It took me five years to complete a two-year associate’s degree, all while raising my children, marring them off, becoming an empty nester and a Grammy.

To all the hearts that have labored with me, taught me; HCC Instructors such as Chef Eddy Van Damme, Chef Jeffrey Guy, Chef Dory, Chef Ashley Mealy, and Chef Christy Sykes. Those that invested in me supported me, encouraged me, and prayed for me throughout my educational journey. Thank You! For it gave me The Courage to Create! and become a college graduate and Professional Baker and Pastry Chef at 49.

What’s your super power? What story is God currently writing for you? How has God shown Himself mighty to you…I would love to hear your sweet story:)

May the Joy of the Lord instantly become your strength to encourage you to overcome any fears that you might experience. Remember, in our daring to be brave, when we throw caution to the wind, casting our cares in Faith upon Him through the ride. Peace, love, and joy are set loose in the atmosphere, and it permits other riders to do the same. Allowing us to all rejoice in knowing we have triumphant victory in Riding the Good Ride of Faith.

If this post ministered to you or encourage you in any way, please share with your fellow Wind Sisters.

Be strong and of good courage,
LaShaun and Mrs. Cavatica

Declaration of Faith: God’s Plan for Your Life

My Father in heaven, I know it is never too late to write a better story for my life, and I believe in my heart that I am never lost to you. Wherever I am and whatever I go through, you are always with me. My life and time are in your hands. All of your thoughts for me are for my good and never evil. Your plan for my life is to make me prosperous, give me hope, and provide for me a glorious future. You have handpicked everything that is best for me in life and presents it to me with great joy. Your desire for me is to live in your abundance. The calling on my life brings a smile to your face, and you always listen to me with great concern and care. When I seek you with all my heart, you see to it that I find you. You always rescue me from the powers of darkness and come to my aid whenever I call to you.

Psalms 23:3; Romans 8:39; Jeremiah 29:11; Deuteronomy 4:29; Colossians 1:13; 2:15; Romans 8:32; Psalm 50:15; 1 John 1:3